I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.

..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.

“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”

I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away..

..Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.

David Wong, 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person

This never gets old. 

(via denasynesthesia)

fightingonarrival:

*DEAD*

stiles stilinski + saddest moments

sisterjudyjudybobudy:

weetbixgod:

hotdadcalendar:

I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes

Babies have no concept of object permanence

That’s one of the sickest burns I’ve ever read. 

billy-pilgrims:

[writes paper] this doesnt make any sense [prints it] [doesn’t proofread] [hands it in for a grade]

spicyshimmy:

BONES DON’T READ THIS ok this one’s for spock. you know how you always say fascinating and you’re like “fascinating” and sometimes you’re like “fascinating” and you raise your eyebrow and you’re thinking “fascinating” and ok bones isn’t reading this anymore i definitely touched some flowers on the away mission when bones made me promise not to. my hand is purple and kinda glowing. we gotta fix this

dirt1999:

daddys-little-squishy:

dirt1999:

My advice 2 straight girls who think girls are cool and cute and attractive in any way: consider bein bi. Consider………loving girls and that’s it that’s all u gotta do just give it a chance &have a good time

and to straight guys..?????

i dont give advice to straight guys. i avoid speaking to or interacting with straight guys at all, instead i love and respect myself 

anfonymackie:

do vampires just use their teeth to make a puncture wound and then suck, or are their fangs like a straw

i havent slept in three days